Death Before Dancing?

The hell you say?

Foreword: I do not endorse this "band" at all. I am merely entertained by their sheer ineptitude. They are incapable of writing any kind of music or song lyrics. The female has enormously BAD dancing abilities. For whatever reason, they decided it would be a good idea for both male and female to have the same haircut. NEWSFLASH: This only works for The Beatles.

Ah, poor misguided youth. The goth movement has been over for some years now. Industrial music can only be found in dark, dungeon like areas of sad, boring clubs where angst-ridden youth clamor together in an attempt to grow strong as a group and feel united.

Guess what? You're just lame. Immitating something that Depeche Mode did well over 20 years ago. And immitating it poorly. I'm so sorry for you both.

Watch their video for "Drama on TV." Oh holy shit.

Apparently, they are currently arranging gigs in both the New York and Los Angeles areas. Keep an eye open for them! I'll bet they're a blast (for all the wrong reasons).

Here's their website. I appologize in advance.

McGregor: "'Star Wars' Fans Scare Me"

You and me both, Ewan. You and me both...

Scottish screen hunk Ewan McGregor is frightened by Star Wars fans and their devoted fervor for the sci-fi saga. The 34-year-old actor, who plays the young Obi-Wan Kenobi, found working on the three prequel Star Wars movies uninspiring as they focused more on special effects than performance - but he is even less enthusiastic about the films' die hard enthusiasts. He says, "There's this huge following, which is weird. They have big meets and conventions, and I find it all a bit frightening. Once this guy met me at a stage door when I was doing a play in London. The guy yelled, 'Obi-Wan. Do you have any advice for a trainee Jedi?' I just said, 'No, don't be so ridiculous.' It's just so weird, it really is."

Experimental Film

Now that iTunes supports video I've started to peruse through the library of music videos they have to offer. Oh sure, they've been offering the ability to view music videos for a long time, but now they're actually allowing you to purchase some!

One video I came across was They Might Be Giants' "Experimental Film." If you haven't seen this video, I suggest downloading the latest version of iTunes and clicking this link.

Experimental Film They Might Be Giants Genre: Alternative Release Date: 1/10/05

P.S. Fans of Homestar Runner will get a kick out of this.

Joel's Bar B Q

In October of 2001, I moved to Los Angeles, CA from Boca Raton, FL. I took two weeks off from my life and drove cross-country in a 1992 convertible Pontiac Firebird. Needless to say, I took very little with me in the car. I visited my friend in Tennesse, as well as many, many tourist traps in St. Augustine, FL, Austin, TX, Sedona, AZ, Las Vegas, NV (come on, who CAN'T stop in Las Vegas?) etc...

To put it lightly, Driving through Texas on the I-10 Highway is... well... boring. There's nothing going on for miles and miles. Anyone who's ever driven through Texas will tell you that if you're driving with a friend or a loved one, you can rest assured that you will hate each other before you ever leave Texas.

Halfway between Houston and Austin is a little stop in the middle of nowheresville called "Joel's Bar B Q" and it's been there for 20 years. Technically, it's in the city of Flatonia. What a nice name for a city. "Well, it's flat. Let's call it Flatonia." Very original.

However, Joel's Bar B Q offers some of THE finest food you will ever taste. This is one place that everyone simply MUST stop at when driving between Houston and Austin. Trust me.

I've convinced my sister and her husband (along with my 8 month-old nephew) to stop there today. They're in the process of moving from Miami, FL to Los Angeles, CA so that she can start her residency at Keiser in June.

In case you ever need directions, the address is (and I'm not kidding):

1200 Slaughter House Rd.
Flatonia, TX 78941

And here's a link to Google Maps for good measure.

Yummy!

I'm such a geek...

Only geeks post about their new computers. And mine arrived today. I wasn't expecting it until Monday (May 9th) but FedEx knocked me on my ass by delivering it 2 whole business days early!

Investing 101?

Commenting that "the Force is stronger than the Nasdaq," USA Today observes that while the Nasdaq has dropped 2 percent since 1998, the price of a 1978 Darth Vader action figure in its original packaging is now worth $600 versus $205 dollars seven years ago, a jump of 193 percent. A 1978 Luke Skywalker action figure in original packaging can now be sold for $800, twice what it was worth in 1998. The action figures originally sold for about $5.00.

Call me silly, but... Investing in Star Wars toys isn't exactly going to turn you into Donald Trump. Sure, a 200% return on a $205 investment in just 7 years is a nice profit. However, does anyone really buy 1,000 Darth Vader figures? Speculating on the price of collectibles is surely going to lose you money. I'm certainly not going to take my money out of a savings account earning 3% interest annually in the hopes that my collection of Darth Vader figures increases in value.

Just try finding a market to sell those 1,000 figures on. I'm willing to bet that 1,000 people aren't willing to shell out $600 per figure. And even less are willing to buy more than one figure each.

And don't even get me started on how inflation has influenced the value of Darth Vader figures.

A Not So Long Time Ago, In A Media Circus Not So Far Away...

A select group invited to attend a screening of Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith have come away praising the film but expressing doubts that it will attract the huge family audiences that its predecessors did. USA Today cited numerous examples of graphic violence, including one scene in which a character "catches fire, screaming in agony while the flesh peels off his body." The newspaper quotes Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader) as saying that he is unable to predict how audiences will react to the violence. "The first two [episodes] did a lot to create a young fan base," he remarked. "I'm not sure how they're going to react to some of these scenes if they see them."

Flash back to 1981. Millions of children flocked to see "Raiders of the Lost Ark," a PG rated movie. In the final scene of the film they were treated to a close-up of a Nazi's melting face while the rest of the Nazi army is electrocuted and burned to dust.

Why then, are we now (24 years later) afraid that children will be "damaged" by a scene of one character "catch[ing] fire, screaming in agony while the flesh peels off his body."? Is it because we've sanitized our children? Filled them with visions of Barney the Dinosaur and Blue's Clues? I grew up watching Sesame Street and The Electric Company on PBS and I wasn't damaged by an army of burning Nazi's, or by witnessing a religious nut tear the heart out of a living being (see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom).

Don't tell me "Times are different now," either. History shows that as the world matures, more and more taboos become acceptabe. For some reason, we've gone backwards in the last 20+ years and the same things that were perfectly acceptable have become indecent.

In 1985, Steven Spielberg introduced the world to "Back to the Future" in which we hear Marty McFly proclaim, "Holy shit! Hey Doc!" and "God damn it, George, swear!" Official rating from the MPAA? PG.

I'm willing to relent that Revenge of the Sith is probably more intense than previous Star Wars movies. However, I'm also sure that it's not "The Exorcist."

Not enough information?

The motion picture ratings system "is not working as well as it could" in warning parents about the amount of violence in movies, according to researchers at UCLA's Southern California Injury Prevention Research Center. In a study of 98 of the most popular movies in 1994, the researchers found all but three included at least one scene of violence and that some PG-13 films contained as much violence as some R-rated ones. The researchers noted that many films that were flagged primarily for language contained a greater-than-average amount of violence than those flagged for violence. Commenting on the study, University of Michigan psychology professor L. Rowell Huesmann told today's (Wednesday) Los Angeles Times: "There are interest groups that are outraged by the sight of a breast, a la Janet Jackson, or suggestions of sex, but don't mind someone being strangled, knifed or shot to death [on screen]." The authors of the UCLA study conclude by asking the MPAA to provide "meaningful content" information about each film.

I'm really curious as to how much information constitutes "meaningful content." If you tell too much about the content within the film, don't you run the risk of being indecent in your content review? or perhaps, even telling the story yourself?

"The following movie contains scenes about war, in which some soldiers patrol a bombed out building and a sniper is hiding inside. The sniper takes aim on one of the soldiers and proceeds to shoot bullets into him while he bleeds profusely as his sqaud watches from protective cover and attempt to devise a plan to save him and find the sniper. This scene lasts approximately 15 to 20 minutes, during which time you will see many slow motion sequences of the soldier being shot and bleeding into the air. Once the squad finds the sniper they shoot the hell out of her (Oh yeah, the sniper is a woman, so if you have a problem with women and guns, well...sorry) and she then lies bleeding on the ground gasping for breath for about 5 minutes all the while begging "shoot me....shoot me." Eventually, one of the soldiers shoots her in the head and puts her out of her misery. Parents strongly cautioned."

The first thing you learn in Home Video Marketing is "Never let your audience know too much about what they are about to buy." The second thing you learn is "You might get sued for this." Which is why they also require you to take a "Business Law" course.

12" Powerbook

Last weekend Apple released Tiger (OSX - 10.4) for their line of computers. And I've finally ordered my first computer from Apple ever. I loaded up a 12" Powerbook with max RAM and the largest hard drive they offer and it's shipping from...get this...China. I also ordered their extended warranty called "Apple Care" which is shipping from Cupertino, CA. FedEx is handling both shipments, but I'm expected to receive the Apple Care today, and the computer won't be here until Monday.

How fucking strange is it that I'll own the warranty on my computer before I even own my computer?

But how much did it sell for?

Britney Spears' positive pregnancy test has been sold for charity - by an Internet casino website which claims the test was found in the bathroom bin of a Los Angeles hotel where the pop beauty recently stayed. The 23-year-old singer announced last month that she is pregnant with her husband Kevin Federline's baby. And Goldenpalace.Com bosses say they have auctioned the stick she urinated on to confirm her pregnancy suspicions, and that proceeds from the kit will be donated to US charities The Candlelighter's Childhood Cancer Foundation and The Easter Seal Society, which helps disabled children. A spokesman for the online gambling emporium says Ottawa, Canada's radio station New Hot 89.9 initially purchased the test from a "connection" the station has at the unnamed hotel where the kit was found.

1) Who's the pervert who purchased this piss-ridden stick?

2) Who's this "connection" who goes around hotel waste baskets searching for used pregnancy tests?

3) Am I the only person who finds it humorous that GOLDENpalace.com is the entity that aucioned it off?

Sometimes the funny just writes itself.

No, No, No!!!

Heiress Paris Hilton is determined to have children with Greek boyfriend Paris Latsis "in the next two years" - because she feels she has accomplished everything in life at the age of 24. The Simple Life star has only been dating the 22-year-old shipping heir since last December, but she insists she is in love and almost ready to start a family. Hilton says, "I want to have kids in the next two years because I know that completes your life. I've had so much fun, and had a great life. I've accomplished everything that I wanted to accomplish and I think that when I have kids that'll make me happier than I already am."

1) Her boyfriend's name is Paris, also? Dear God.

2) It must be nice to have accomplished everything by the age of 24. How about raising that IQ of yours?

3) Having children "completes your life?" I always thought that death was the final step. If she wants to die after she has kids, I'll be first in line to assist.

This bitch irritates me. Isn't there someone else that would serve as a better role model for the female youth of America?